Billie, enterprising as she is, created a 'Rootabega stand' hoping for some pocket money at the playground. Sloane finds herself in the mirror and sadly waves goodbye to the tent and Grampa Les as it's time for us (the lame members of the family to go home and sleep in air conditioning). Sleep is hard enough even with my 1000 thread count sheets...i'm NOT attempting anything else. Seriously, sleep is just something i NEED more than other people. So two nights ago when Billie woke up with her first ever ear ache and I had to rub her back and tell her stories in a 300 thread count bed...well, it was just not the most fun. When we finally moved downstairs to watch a movie on the computer (the only TV is in the basement) so that she could be distracted. Then i had to curl up on the love-seat with NO SHEETS and wonky pillows...so the next day...well, was probably one of the worst days as a Mom i've had and i did not get through it without tears and yelling at the kids. Billie is sort of the same way (affected by any upset in her nightly 11 hours of sleep) and was SO ROTTEN to Jackson and myself that I could not believe my ears. Thankfully, today she's been kind and friendly...helpful even and I am going to be more appreciative of what I thought was brattiness before yesterday. She's not really bratty...so much.

I should mention Jackson here- because I write (complain) a lot about Billie. Jackson is super nice and good. He's smart and says the funniest things and he has the most clever thought process for figuring things out. Jackson can come up with a possible outcome for the stories we are reading "maybe he could disguise himself as a dragon and when Ruggedo tries to attack him he will be frightened off at the sight of a reliable dragon" His vocabulary is the funniest because he knows all these outstanding words but can't really place them all correctly in a sentence. He is totally into games and asks me at least 4 times a day to play a game with him. "Wanna play candyland? Can we play chess? How about a convincing game of scrambled states of 'merica, Mom?" Get ready for another (yes...another) Mom confession. I am TOO tired to play the games with him (which would involve really nothing more than sitting on the floor or at the table and lifting my arm to move my piece when required). So, I say "okay, I'll play...you set up the game" and then he just ends up sitting at the table in front of the board...so eager that he starts without me...thrilled with the game I get a fully commentary "Mom! You got a moose! You just need one fox and a zebra or I'll have to block you with my giraffe if I'm so sneaky for you...you'll be pretty amazed at that. My turn! I'm just so pleased I didn't get a penguin!" and he proceeds to finish the whole game of Sequence by choosing cards for me, placing my chip, and then himself...and then getting totally frustrated if i win!
What am I doing while all this goes on? I'm on the couch reading, of course, while holding open a kids book that Sloane forces at me each time I sit down. Then I just hold my own book in the other hand and make silly voices reading The Secret Life of Bees aloud so that Sloane is under the impression that these are the words of her book. Ha ha ha! Her book doesn't even have anything about South Carolina racial tension in 1964...but she thinks it does. So easily fooled, I'm embarrassed for her.
So...are you wondering if there is anything...anything at all that I am willing to get off my selfish bottom for (butt is not polite)? Well, yes there is. There is one thing I jump up for and it's a plastic baby. We have two main baby dolls here; Peach and Lola. Sloane calls them both 'Ma Ma' just to be ridiculous and she has decided that they have a lot of needs. She comes to me saying "change...change" "should we change your diaper?" I ask. "ma ma! ma ma!" "change the baby's diaper?" "yeah" (she says yeah ALL THE TIME) rather than learn more words she just makes us guess at what she wants and when we finally get it right there is an instant one-syllable "ya!" So, I jump up and we lay down the baby and change the diaper and then I have to go get a cup of cheerios for the baby with a baby spoon so that we can feed the baby. Sometimes the baby wants to nurse and sometimes to read "Book! Ma Ma!". Nursing is the most absurd but i hold the baby and nurse each time she asks. What do you mean that's retarded?!!! It's so good for her to see me taking care of some other baby...holding someone else in my arms and taking time to do things for some random baby who is not Sloane. She hasn't really seen me do anything for anyone else in the last 6 months. Billie and Jackson are fully functioning at managing the house and coming up with their own games by now (see above how Jackson plays a game with me without me even participating). I hope this is making some kind of impact on Sloane so that when the baby gets here she will allow me to hold and cuddle someone else. Oh Sloane...your world is about to change. I have to go narrate Ina May's Guide to Childbirth over the pictures of Ferdinand the Bull right now and hope Sloane understands.