the clock is officially ticking!!!

Are you excited? It's JULY and you know what that means...this baby is going to arrive soon. Yay! Yay! Yay! I'm determined to hold him in (I had a dream it was a boy a few weeks ago, confirming my prior intuition) and yes, I do know that I'm setting myself up here by writing about it so that you can all see how wrong I was if this turns out to be a girl. But that sounds like a lot of fun in itself and we'll all be so surprised....but mostly i'll just be thrilled that someone else can wear all the clothes i've made for Sloane and Billie. If i DO have a boy i'm really optimistic that Meg will have my first little niece and once in a while she will make her sweet little girl wear some of my odd creations out of pure guilt, if nothing else, because i slaved over them with my own two hands!!!
Oh, you just don't know how i've been waiting for July. I know i wasn't this complain-y with my last pregnancies. And with each pregnancy I increasingly think that we were kinda made for doing this all at 20. Age 30? it's fine, i'm never sick, or bed-ridden or anything at all drastic. But man it was EASIER when i was 24. My body was all just fine with growing a huge belly and not feeling like a slug. I'm not saying this is my last baby...who knows what the future holds? but I'm NOT as up for getting pregnant again as I was after the last 3.
And spacing!!! That's another concern i have. It was all SO good with Bean and Jackson- 15 months...it's the way to go...I want to shout it from the rooftops. Have your babes CLOSE together. Sloane was so much easier a few months back. A 2 year old is all into "no!"and "ME DO IT!" and all crossing the boundaries. A 15 month old is all like not speaking so much and holding your hand and so manageable!!! Now if she's trapped in some grocery cart or sling Sloane sees something exciting and she's all "OUT! OUT! OUT! DOWN!" and then it's with the screaming if I don't let her get down and fondle whatever interesting piece has caught her eye right at that very moment. Not so manageable if you get my drift.
Stay tuned for how this will up the ante in the adventures of our daily lives. I've always heard that going from 1 to 2 kids= no biggie, 2 to 3 kids= MAJOR adjustment, 3 to 4= no biggie. And that always sort of made sense to me...because there has to be some point where it levels out...where it can't get any crazier. Like, there's 4 of us everywhere we go...3 car seats to get into, many snacks and water bottles to bring along, I haven't been without diapers in the car for like 6 years, i know some distraction techniques, i know some discipline stuff that works for 2 of my kids, i mean...how much will adding a little newborn; tucked into a little sling across my chest (much like the 27 lb belly i'm toting in my front right now) who just sleeps and eats, how much can that little guy add to the chaos that has become our daily ritual?
Is this just me trying to re-assure myself? Crap, yes!!!! because Sloane has never been EASY but now she's nearly 2 and she's SO WILD, she runs the show, she's the boss of everyone, the center of the universe and what on earth is she going to feel like when i'm holding some other kid?! She still gets mad if Bill puts his arm around me and forces Jackson out of my lap during story time and takes a swat at Billie for sitting in *her* rocking chair. It's not that she's clingy...she's ALL over the place running off on her own but she's POSSESSIVE to the nth degree. Once i saw her share, but that might of just been a mistake on her usual pretending to make an offer and then quickly renege so that she can laugh at the dismay on the face of the 'almost gifted' sibling or playmate....